“Dad!” Julio screamed.
I looked over at my hijo1 and there he was practically crying as water sprung from a leak in the hose.
It was no big deal, but to him things were upside down and sideways almost all of the time. I was worried about how he was going to get through life when little things were always so big.
"Tal vez es un marica", pensé. “No me importa, pero podría ser. Tal vez pensó que me molestaba, pero no sabe nada de mi historia en San Francisco. Por ejemplo, no sabía que había un grupo de maricas que me rescataron después de mi servicio en la Marina. Tengo que hablar con él al respecto”. "Maybe he's gay," I thought. "I don't care, but it could be. Maybe he thinks it bothers me, but he doesn't know about my history in San Francisco. For example, he didn't know that there was a group of gays who rescued me after my service in the Marines. I have to talk to him about this."
Julio gritaba otra vez2 and that pulled me out of my thoughts.
“It’s okay, hijo,” I said. “All we have to do is cut the hose at the leak point and then put a new head on the hose. You’ve seen me do it before. Why don’t you jog over to the truck and get me a male adapter.”
Julio gathered himself and headed towards the truck.
I took my Leatherman out of my pocket to begin work on the leak. With a quick slice, I cut out and removed the damaged piece. The water stopped flowing. Strange. I could feel the pressure building inside the hose like a clogged artery just before the stroke. There was water there, for sure. It just didn’t want to come out. I looked down the barrel of the hose and saw something. I grabbed it. It felt slippery. Plant-like. Como algas marinas.3
"Qué raro", pensé. “Agarré y agarré las algas marinas. Más y más de este vegetal húmedo y marrón salía de la manguera, poco a poco.” "How weird," I thought. "I grabbed and grabbed at the seaweed. More and more of this wet brown vegetable came out of the hose, little by little."
I reached what seemed to be the end and still it wouldn’t budge. I placed the hose under my foot and used that leverage to pull with all my might.
I heard a slurp sound and then a “pop” before the tension gave way. A seaweed-shaped hand exited the hose with a force.
On the way out, esta vaina me golpeó en la nariz. Con toda esta emoción, me desmayé. On the way out, the thing punched me in the nose. With all the excitement, I passed out.
But, as soon as I hit the ground, the hose released a torrent of water directly onto my face. That woke me right up. I scrambled to my feet. All this sucedió4 just in time to see the seaweed-hand running for the bush.
“What the fuck. Está corriendo!5” I said, out loud, as Julio reached my side.
“Dad! Are you okay,” he insisted. “What happened?”
“There’s something...there’s something in the bush,” I said.
Together, father and son ran over to the bush to find a naked, fish-man squatting and trembling. Yes, me oiste bien6. A naked, fish-man.
I stared at the man-thing for what felt like forever. But, the criatura7 was clearly in a bad way. “Are you okay?” I managed to spit out.
"Tengo frío y si no me das algo para calentarme, en menos de cinco minutos me muero de hipotermia,” it answered. "I am cold and if you don't give me something to warm me up, in 5 minutes, I'm going to die of hypothermia," it answered.
“Julio, run to the truck. Get me the blankets we use for the horses.”
My son took off without a word, which is surprising for my boy. He’s not usually stunned into silence.
Fish-man and I were left to stare at one another, which we did. It took Julio ages to return from the truck. By then, I knew the criatura would do no harm. Well, for the moment, at least.
the real stuff
¡Aliens en Español! THE SERIES:
As I’ve been studying Spanish, I’ve come to realize there are not enough fun materials to learn the language. If I were to create one thing for that purpose and perhaps sell on Amazon, it would be something like this weekend’s Bartleby, which is ¡Aliens en Español! The idea would be aliens arrive to take over the planet, but they only speak Spanish. Simple. Fun. Stupid fun. Stupid fun that helps you learn. The challenge would always be, how to show both languages in increasing volumes without breaking the flow. That’s what I’ve attempted to do here with footnotes when the Spanish was only a word or to and then quotes with both languages when it’s more of a phrase or a thought. The idea would be to release several different series. First, ¡Aliens en Español! and then ¡Murder en Español! followed by ¡Romance en Español!, etc.
An ambitious idea, for sure. I’d need a fluent Spanish speaker to make sure the Spanish is on point and I’d have to develop out the story in a way that is compelling. So far, I’m about a quarter of the way there with this one, but other creative projects always seem to take precedence. So, at the very least, I thought I’d spit out two “alien arrival” pieces this weekend. Then, hopefully, deliver some more over time.
As always, if you like it, let me know. Constructive feedback is ALWAYS helpful and I appreciate you reading. Enjoy your weekend.
Son
screamed again
seaweed
happened
It’s running
You heard me right.
creature